- An Englishman went to Spain on a fishing trip. He hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots. Since the Englishman was learning Spanish, he asked the guide to speak to him in Spanish and to correct any mistakes of usage. They were hiking on a mountain trail when a very large, purple and blue fly crossed their path. The Englishmen pointed at the insect with his fishing rod, and said, "Mira el mosca!" The guide, sensing a teaching opportunity, replied, "No, senor, 'la mosca'... es feminina." The Englishman looked at him, then back at the fly, and then said, "Good heavens... you must have incredibly good eyesight."
- An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German were sitting around, and they started talking about how each of their languages was the most beautiful. "Just listen," said the Englishman. "Butterfly." "Oh, that is nothing," said the Frenchman, "compared to 'papillon.'" They turned to look at the German, who said, "And what is wrong with 'schmetterling?'"
- Two Finnish parliament members woke up in a hotel room. They had apparently spent the last night drinking, and couldn't remember anymore where in the world they were. Kekkonen asked Ahti to find it out. Ahti went outside the room, came back and said: "I think were in India." "How so?" "There's a sign in the corridor that says: WC liegt an der anderen Seite des Ganges." (= The toilet is on the other side of the hall).
- A man who speaks no english walks into a clothing store. The manager comes to meet him and asks what he's looking for. After realizing that the man does not understand English, the manager begins to run through every item in the store. Consistently, the customer says, "No, eso no." (trans: no, not that.) Eventually the manager comes to a pair of socks. He points to them and the customer exclaims, "Eso si que es!" (trans: THAT'S what it is.) To which the manager replies: Well, if you knew how to spell it all along.....
- >What are the Chinese words for going to the beach? Wai So Tan?
- A British ship was in danger, and radioed a mayday signal to a German port nearby. The British ship's captain said "We are sinking". The German radio operator said "What are you sinking about?"
- A Finn and a Swede were arguing which ones mother tongue sounds more beautiful. Since they couldn't find any solution they asked help from an English linguistic, who asked both of them to translate the following poem into their own languages. "An island, island, island of hay, a maid in island of hay" It was the Finn's turn first. He translated: "Saari, saari, Heinäsaari, Heinäsaaren Morsian." Then the Swede translated: "Ö, ö, Hö-ö, Hö-öns Mö." (asta ii pe bune, verificati in Google Translate)
- Japonez cu englez A: Ayu wa sakana? B: What? A: Well, yes or no? B: Um... Yes? A: What, you're a fish?! A: Ayu wa sakana? B: What? A: Well, yes or no? B: Um... No? A: Wrong! An ayu IS a fish! *An ayu is a kind of fish, and "Ayu wa sakana?" means "Is an ayu a fish?" But of course, "Ayu wa" sounds like "Are you a" said with a Japanese accent.
- Un englez, un francez si un sacui discuta care are cea mai complicata limba. Englezul: -Pai noi zicem "lait" si scriem "light". Francezul: -Asta ii nimica. Noi scriem "Bordeaux" si pronuntam "Bordo". Sacuiul: -Voi va plangeti? Noi zicem "allomas" si scriem "gara".